One of the best parts of attending college is the all of the different types of people you get to meet.
You’re surrounded by thousands of people of various ages, race, backgrounds and stories to learn or fill people in on. If you haven’t learned how to mingle, better get cracking because this is a prime time to explore and enjoy yourself.
Whether you’re in it to win it or you simply want to have your freedom and casually see people, there are a few key elements to consider before you take the plunge with either.
8 Survivor Tips On College Relationships…
Don’t Sell Yourself Short. Be mindful of your options. Just because someone is available and you are too does not mean you must date exclusively. Give yourself time to adjust to your new surroundings and work on establishing a friendship before committing yourself to one person.
Games Are For Players. Just like high school, there will always be that girl or guy who is on the prowl. Whether that describes your personality or not, be wary of one liner abusers; people who are just looking to score and/or how your own actions can affect the people around you. We aren’t saying not to have fun – of course you should enjoy yourself; just be careful of how you go about it and set guidelines ahead of time to avoid confusion.
Slow & Steady Wins The Race. Sometimes, sprinting to the finish line is the best answer, but if you genuinely like and appreciate someone, take your time getting know one another. This is a more respectful approach than rushing into something and you’ll both benefit from it as a result.
Don’t Neglect Your Friends. While attending college, your time is pretty limited. Between classes and maybe even work, you have to schedule your social time. Factor in dating, studying and veg time (you’re going to be up to your ears in social events). Be sure to make time for you and your friends without the other half. They don’t have to be everywhere you are. Having separate social events to go to every now and then will give you a bit of freedom. It’s ok to have friends and be in a relationship. There is no rule that dictates you must choose one over the other. But, if you ARE in one of those types of relationships, you may want to reevaluate it. Distance does actually make the heart grow fonder.
If It Isn’t Broken, Don’t Try To Fix It. No single person is perfect. We are all human, which means most of the time we stumble around trying to figure out our next obstacle to tackle. If you have fears and doubts running around in your head, it probably means other people have them too. Be mindful of people’s insecurities and try not to harp on them about it. Remember the golden rule ‘treat people how you want to be treated’.
Communicate Your Feelings. If you have something to say, speak up. Don’t expect people to be mind readers. Starting with ‘you did this, and it made me angry’ may not be the best way to start a conversation, but neither is ignoring someone for four days all the while hoping they’ll ‘get it’ only to find out they didn’t know you were mad in the first place. Approaching concerns constructively is a good way to express yourself without adding gasoline to the fire.
Sharing Is Caring, But Some Things Should Be Kept To Yourself. Communicating is one thing, but divulging all your secrets or someone else’s secrets to your significant other may not always be the best practice. As long as it’s not harmful to the person you’re dating, you’re allowed to have secrets. Besides, blabbing your whole life story to someone you’ve known for three weeks probably isn’t a great way to start off a relationship. Remember, slow and steady wins the race? That adage applies here as well.
A Relationship Doesn’t Define You. Maybe you haven’t dated a lot of people, or maybe you have. Either way, having a good outlook on them all is a great way to avoid placing self worth on each one. Consider looking at each one of those relationships as if they were a commercial break in your life. If it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t work out. Sure, some may be longer than others or you may have had a better connection with one over another, but at the end of the day those relationships don’t define you as a person. So long as you learn from them and move on, you’re figuring out what your likes and dislikes are until you find the one person you truly mesh well with. Getting stuck on a relationship is like placing your iPod or iPhone on repeat when your listening to tunes. It might be ok through the first few loops but sooner or later, it gets old. Same goes for when you bring a break up to people in casual conversation or let your memories of your time together cloud your daily thoughts. Stay active, keep busy and move on.
The true message to take away here is tat you’re young. You’re allowed to have fun and enjoy the moments your have with the people you’re sharing them with. If you don’t share moments together in the future, no big deal – there will be other people and other moments to share with them.
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